Well, that’s not far off.
1. I am dirt [“you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” Gen. 3:19]
2. I am false [“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” I John 1:18].
3. I am a Christian [“But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God.” John 1:12]
However, on the matter of scum, I will decline.
4. I am not scum [“but God has shown me that I should not call anyone profane or unclean.” Acts 10:28b]